method form MD-001
editorial methodology filed in voice, in full

we admit everything.

every tool we used. every human who used it. every charge we filed. filed in compliance with no one in particular.

wellness state · department of provenance form MD-001

METHODOLOGICAL DISCLOSURE

This document is filed voluntarily. The Wellness State Department of Provenance does not exist. The Wellness State accepts disclosure regardless.

What we use AI for

  • Generating the composite defendants. Nano Banana Pro / Gemini
  • Generating surveillance video for case files. Kling 3.0
  • Rendering the Bureau's world — rooms, evidence, contraband. If the frame is fiction, everything in it is fiction. Including the can. Nano Banana Pro / Kling 3.0
  • Drafting and pressure-testing editorial copy — headlines, captions, case files. The final line is ours. Claude
  • Compositing, adjusting, and finishing every image. The final frame is ours. Photoshop

What we do not use AI for

  • Photographing venues. We walk in. We carry the cans.
  • Photographing the product in the real world. Real venues, real cans, real condensation. If the location exists, so does everything in frame.
  • Pouring the drinks. Bartenders pour them.
  • Writing the replies to your emails. The defendants write back personally.
  • Deciding what we publish, what we file, or what we charge.

What is synthetic in this issue

  • The biohacker is not a person. He is a composite of every man with a Whoop and a position on red light.
  • The founder is not a person. She is a composite of every woman who sells discipline at 11pm.
  • The creator is not a person. They are a composite of every traveller who arrives soft, posts hard.
  • The cities are real. The rest is not.
  • The can, where it appears inside the Bureau's world, is a depiction. The Bureau has never held the real thing.
  • The cases are composite. The behaviours are observed.

What is real in this issue

  • Three drinks. Citrus Confessional. Bitter Justice. Cola Vice.
  • One sampler. The First Offence. One thousand units. No restock.
  • Two founders. Melbourne. Sydney, Brisbane, Canberra.
  • Human flaws. Observed. Celebrated.
  • You. Especially you.

The Wellness State will absorb all of this eventually.

We're going to enjoy the years before it does.

for trade

disclosure complete. the registry's open.

we stock direct, on-premise only — in rooms where the list is considered and the bartender can sell the third can without trying. if that's yours, file with us.

see who's already on the registry →